Now that Mackenzie is 2 weeks old (well, 2.5 really) we tried using a pacifier when she gets a bit grumpy. It took her a while to get the concept of sucking on a rubber nipple – without the cream filling – but she finally got the hang of it.
Here is a snippet of video I shot of Mack in her little car carrier going to town on her pacifier. Notice the range of motion that thing travels before she finally spits it out.
This morning we had the pleasure of making our little girl a US citizen on top of her German citizenship. It wasn’t nearly as pleasant of an experience as dealing with the German offices.
The new American Embassy is on what looks like an old Army base and has the inviting charme of a Supermax prison. After a we got good and searched, including taking the battery out of mobile phones and leaving them with the security desk. Surprisingly enough, the tiny one AAA battery LED flashlight on the Mrs. was also strictly verboten and had to stay behind.
The service was quite frankly appalling – polite, but with all the nicety of how prisoners are treated. Without wanting to get into this story too much here, I briefly considered handing my greencard to them and picking up the baby and just having her be German only. I managed to keep my cool for the most part, but it is amazing to see how you are not so much a citizen but more of a subject in these good ol’ US of A.
I guess if you followed my blog for a while I am not so fond of any government controlling me so….. it’s not wonder the prison routine of “pick up your ballsack and now spread your ass cheeeks” kind of treatment didn’t make me feel all warm and cozy inside today.
Long story short – I managed not to say something offensive and get myself arrested – although I did have the audacity to turn my mobile phone back on 10 seconds before I reached “German Soil”. Well….fuck ‘em all… passport is obtained and I won’t have to deal with these people for a few more years. Now just a formality visit to our local city hall tomorrow morning and we will have a legal dual citizen baby on our hands.
I think she just blew up her pampers….. so I will cut this short. Time for another solo flight.
Now that we have a bit of a routine down with the peanut I can use some of my vacation time to play around on one of my little internet side projects: SecretSides.com – a social network for rock climbers to find new climbing partners and locals that can show you the “Secret Sides” of their mountain.
I started this project a few months ago – and I am woefully behind on my own deadlines – but at last it’s finally at least in a workable shape. If you love to rock climb go check out SecretSides.com and let me know what you think.
Perhaps when the Peanut is a bit bigger she will also get into rock climbing and we can all go together soon enough – but until then I guess I have to live vicariously through my little website.
The Mrs. loves Ebay and bargain hunting. I am a big friend of Ebay as well and so it is now wonder that we search our way through millions of baby related offerings during the course of stocking Mack’s room. Two auctions in particular had us a bit confused. We had ordered a Philips Avent 520 Baby Intercom used from some dude in Munich and a Medela Harmony Breast Pump from a seller in Austria.
A few days later we received a package – mailed from Austria. We expected it to be the breast pump (the package coming from Austria and all) and where surprised when the package contained the Philips Avent 530 Baby Intercom. A little bit of head scratching ensued wondering if it was the guy who sold us the Avent 520 from Munich who sent it from Austria for some reason, or if the breast pump people had also sold a Avent 530 and mixed up packages.
Today we received another package in the mail. Also from Austria. The Medela Harmony Breast Pump perfectly wrapped up inside. I guess now I know who to contact about the Baby Intercom and why it is the Avent 530 instead of the 520 – which we are not complaining about since it’s the better model – and why the damn thing doesn’t work right.
Here is a little something for all you Ebay fans:
When I returned to the bedroom this morning after checking my email messages I found the Peanut snuggled up against the Mrs. Apparently feeding time had lead to a massive bowel movement and mommy just could get herself to take care of it just yet. Mackenzie wasn’t disturbed by laying in her own mess just yet so I felt brave enough to pull my first solo diaper change.
Everything worked out well and the little one was patient enough even though she didn’t want to cooperate fully, flailing and kicking around on the changing table. We got the diaper on, kid redressed and everything was good until the mid morning snack. To say there was an tectonic shift in her pants is an understatement. Unfortunately I also didn’t do a good job putting the diapers around her tiny legs and the kid all of a sudden looked like it hard been buried in a mudslide. Baby poo explosion.
So, one sponge bath – which we didn’t like at all as can be seen in the picture -, a complete change of clothes (everything except for the socks) later we have a happy sleeping Burrito baby again.
While the Mrs. was in the hospital I had some guys come over to look at the heaters in the house. The central system circulates hot water to radiators around the house and let’s just say they never worked quite right. When the guys showed up the first time they replaced some valves and things with the new heaters we had put into the kitchen. Then they realized that the guy who put in the heater in our guest bathroom must have been smoking crack in his Marlboro Lights since he simply hooked it up…in a short way… using a method that could have never worked.
Flash back about 18 months ago to our original guest bathroom renovation.In one particularly amusing episode a soaking wet Maczinkovic (our former contractor) emerged from the guest bathroom muttering to himself. It was soon discovered that the radiator he just attempted to connect had exploded rusty, grimy water all over the freshly painted bathroom wall. Yummy. I stopped laughing when I repainted the wall in there myself because the guy flaked out. He did hook it up in a way that left a tin cup underneath the outflow valve to catch drippings and a heater that didn’t get hot. Not so much of a problem since all the heating pipes run through the bathroom wall making it almoast toasty even without a working radiator. So with all the other projects needing completion the radiator never received attention ever again.
Fast forward to today. In their quest to make this farm warm enough in every room for a baby the very efficient workers discovered Maczinkovic was indeed smoking crack because he used an inflow valve for an outflow valve. To make it look right he just too off the temperature gauge. To stop the pesky dripping the inflow valve was closed off. Stellar solution dude. So a quick fix later that heater works. Sure helps to use the right kind of valve.
I had asked them to put in a new radiator in the living room. The old one was awesome. Big, cast iron, and massive. However, it unfortunately was just not very fuel efficient and not quite enough to heat the room on really cold nights.
Today, surprisingly two guys had showed up with it. No warning, no appointment, no anything. Also it was 2 guys instead of one. Originally I had agreed with the guy that only one person should come since the 2nd guy was only there to help the first guy carry out the old heater. For the rest of the time he would have been standing around drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and petting my dog – all at the bargain rate of 80EUR an hour. Normally I wouldn’t care about the money but 160EUR saved for 5 minutes of heavy lifting that’s a bargain.
I called their boss to figure out what part of “only send one dude, I have lifted out two of these radiators with my wife before, I am sure that one guy and I can lift it no problem” he didn’t understand and to act a bit pissed because they had just showed up unannounced. Turns out the other dude was there for whatever other reason too but he wouldn’t charge me for him. Rock on… so 160EUR saved and no heavy lifting. The two of them where quite a sight though… Tiffany thinks one of them was 70, but I think they where more in the 60ish region. They huffed and puffed like two little girls carrying out the old radiator. The Mrs. even though not completely healed in the nether regions wanted to rush to their side to help them.
But…. more importantly the new heater is in and working wonderfully!
Christmas time is starting and it seems the process that has started quite a few years ago is gaining some traction again – stamping out Christmas. Afterall, me celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ my lord and savior is discriminatory for all the people believing in other gods. Well, folks – this might prompt a bit of hate mail but on this blog we’ll be calling it Christmas. I don’t care if you celebrate any other holiday – which you are more then welcome to – here it will be called Christmas. Not “the holidays”, “winter festival” or whatever other new school term is PC this year.
I guess the people that take objection with the Christmas holiday being called Christmeas feel left out. I used to have some hot lesbian neighbors and when they had sex I felt left out. Did I sue someone to be included in their holiday, or even for the to stop celebrating it? No! No, not really – I didn’t have hot lesbian neighbors… but just as this example shows sometimes you don’t need to be included in every activity. I guess it’s just part of our attitude that we can not offend or exclude anyone from anything. Afterall there is soccer teams that play, don’t keep score of goals and then each and every person gets their “MVP Certificate” – don’t get me started on that.
In a move to make Christmas more commercial I guess it makes sense to rename it “Winter Holiday”. So many people who are not Christian perhaps will flood the stores and buy “Winter Festival” presents for their loved ones. Mhh, maybe that’s who is behind taking Christ out of Christmas.
Anyways, whoever is taking offense with my ramblings – I don’t care. Just like you are free to celebrate your own “winter holidays” you are free to not read this blog if I offend you. I for one won’t be offended if you wish me a happy Hanuckah or Kwanza or whatever other holidays there may. I would be happy to hear a few nice words rather than the usual “hey watch the road asshole” or other obscenities commonly heard year round on the streets. Which brings up the real problem of the “winter holidays”: In the rush to buy presents, attend all the “seasonal parties” and get everything done in time for whatever winter holiday you celebrate most people are ready for a hospital dose of anti-anxiety meds by the time its over. Whatever it is that you are celebrating – or perhaps not celebrating – take a deep breath and enjoy these last few days of 2008. Perhaps the real spirit of Christmas like spending time with your loved ones, reflecting on the year we just lived through and perhaps bringing some happiness to a person less fortunate than us will take hold. In my book those actions aren’t threatening or non PC – even if you do celebrate starship XZN234 and its blue toadlike inhabitants.
In that regard. Have a happy Christmas season – even if what you celebrate this time of year isn’t called Christmas. It is snowing here this morning and I am in bed with my munchkin writing this blog. A good time to start putting out some Christmas decorations today. Things seem to slow down here when the snow is falling and things do feel quite christmas-y already this morning. A good time to reflect and be thankful for all that we have been blessed with in 2008.
As I have written about a few months ago, the German pencil pushers had some objections with our choice of name for the little one. Apparently the names we had picked out where to unisex for them and we either had to change it or pick a third first name that was clearly male or female. Forget about using Maria over here, it’s also both male and female. Very confusing.
Anyways, we initially intended to take up the Standesamt’s suggestion to “go ahead and sue us” but not only did it turn out be a real bitch to find a good lawyer that wasn’t a media whore but also there would be a government imposed name until the trial ended. That government imposed name would have been “Unamed Child”, most certainly not an option. We then settled with the folks at the registrars office in leaving the first two names, Mackenzie Skye, alone and tacking on Anne. The Mrs’ middle name.
This morning I called my friend at the Standesamt in Hanau to ask if mom and baby would have to come along She recognized me immediately, much to my surprise, and told me to show up without the family, papers in hand and she would have me on my way in 5 minutes.
I got to city hall and was amazed at the size of the place. I have never been there before since most government business that has to be completed is done in the city hall of our little village. I made my way to room 213 and was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have to wait. The Mrs. and I had already filled out all the paperwork at the hospital and now it was only a matter of a few photocopies. As promised the process of making Mackenzie Skye Anne took less than 5 minutes. Once we receive all the paperwork in the mail we can make an appointment with the US Embassy to make our little mudblood a US Citizen too. Before you send me hatemail, I don’t mean mudblood derogatory just a nod to the fact that she is of mixed heritage.
Last night around dinner time somebody apparently snuck into the house and switched out the calm, sweet and easygoing baby we brought home from the hospital with a kid that is the absolute opposite. Every single time we put her down in her crib she started bawling her little eyes out. Personally I think it’s pretty funny when she cries – mostly because of the bright red noggin she gets and her face scrunching up giving her the appearance of a toothless angry old man. The sound associated with the angry face makes your toes curl up and your spinal fluids freeze. She was a handful during the rest of the evening downstairs, but really pumped up the screaming when we went to bed. Finally the Mrs. gave in and had her sleep in our bed – defintely not a solution for the long run.
This morning faithful nanny Mrs. Google pointed us towards a few solutions – including learning to effectively recreate the warmness of the womb. The key to success apparently is doing a bit of a bondage number on them with a blanket. This technique is called swaddling and effectively works like rolling a burrito (if tortillas where square like a blanket.
I am happy to report, it has been two hours and the Peanut is sleeping ever so comfortably in her own crib!
I have never been a fan of the bathrobe. For years people have given them to me for christmas and I must have more than my share of them hanging in my closet. I used to be the kind of guy who was happy walking around in boxers and t-shirt in the morning while checking my emails and get ready for the day. While I am sure the Mrs. didn’t like the occasional “package slip” there was no one else here to be bothered by it.
Now that the baby is here my cigarette smoking has been banned to the outside and I have to tell you – standing outside in the morning watching the neighbors scratch ice from their windshield in a t-shirt and boxers is no walk in the park. I tried it for the past couple of days but it just ain’t right. Mostly most of the smoke is lost because I shiver too much. Also, getting up late at night with the baby tends to be a frigid as well.
I had to break down and opt for the bathrobe. Last night during one of Mackenzie’s many crying fits I needed a break from the screaming. I grabbed the bathrobe my parents bought me for Christmas last year and headed outside for a smoke. Better, but still cold. This morning I went the real cozy route – flannel pajama pants and the bathrobe – that’s right I moved straight from new daddy to grandpa. But you know what, it’s warm and cozy and so be it. Definitely won’t be winning any fashion awards this way – but oh well.
On the other hand Mackenzie stopped her crying fits – definitely separation anxiety about sleeping in her own bed. Maybe we get the happy baby back today that we started out with yesterday morning.
My name is Stefan and I'm the workaholic dad - a first time father on the quest to find the perfect balance between a successful career and a perfect home life
